Tuesday, September 29, 2009
What a crapweasel
I am absolutely stunned and mortified that there are so many people in this country who believe that Roman Polanski is a victim. Are you kidding me?? I am speechless - which anyone who knows me, knows, is very rare. Have we, as a society, become so impressed with "famous people" that we give them carte blanche to do whatever they want? Even if that means raping a child - yes - a CHILD!! Am I really supposed to feel bad for him because he wasn't allowed to pick up his Oscar in person? Disgusting! At least there are still some rational people who see Roman Polanski for what he really is...a crapweasel!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Guest blog - Oscar the Grouch
Hey everyone. I have a treat for you today...a guest blogger. He is the smartest, funniest, kindest man I have ever met - my husband.
_____
Do you have a favorite Sesame Street character? I bet there's a Facebook app that asks you 10 dumb questions and then tells you whether you're Bert or Ernie. I don't need the test - I'm an Oscar guy. Elmo is endearing, Grover is amusing, but Oscar gets it. Even in the peaceful world where muppets, monsters, and people live in harmony, he sees the world for what it is. Even when he sings out loud, sings out strong: "Grouches of the world unite! Don't let the sunshine spoil your rain...just stand up and complain!"
Maybe that explains my deep down, unstoppable, undeniable love for the blogger herself. You see, this note isn't about a grouchy guest blogger, but rather about his grouchy wife - and why her griping is appropriate and healthy. In fact, I think it's the key to her fundamental happiness.
I don't know why it's considered a core virtue to suppress pain. I am always puzzled when someone passes away, and the eulogy includes the inevitable praise for the deceased having suffered in silence: "...and even after Gertrude lost her eyesight, and could no longer read while she lay in her iron lung, she never once complained, and always greeted others with a smile."
I guess it's cultural, part of the American can-do ethic that broke the British during the winter at Valley Forge, then tamed the Wild West, and kicked some Nazi butt for good measure. If Laura Ingalls can survive the tough Minnesota winters in her little house on the prairie, then you need to suck it up, too. Cowboy up!
What a ridiculous attitude this is. No one likes the non-stop gripers - I get that. But I suspect that the real reason that people are so quick to offer up praise for those who "never complain" is that it spares them from feeling bad. In other words, if you are in agony, keep it to yourself...so that I don't have to suffer, too.
But what are friends for if not to comfort you during the rough times - even if those rough times last your whole life? (Then again, except for Katie, I don't really have any friends, so I'm not sure that I'm qualified to give advice in this respect.)
One final point: I don't think you need a doctorate in clinical psychology to recognize that it just can't be healthy for someone to suppress their challenges. Raisin in the sun, you know?
As the person closest to the situation, I can report honestly that our lovely Katie manages the contradiction well. She is just grouchy enough to stay happy.
So if you're reading this while in an iron lung, feel free to mention how much it sucks. Whomever you tell may feel a little worse, but you'll feel a lot better. And when you've been dealt such a rotten hand, that seems a fair tradeoff.
_____
Do you have a favorite Sesame Street character? I bet there's a Facebook app that asks you 10 dumb questions and then tells you whether you're Bert or Ernie. I don't need the test - I'm an Oscar guy. Elmo is endearing, Grover is amusing, but Oscar gets it. Even in the peaceful world where muppets, monsters, and people live in harmony, he sees the world for what it is. Even when he sings out loud, sings out strong: "Grouches of the world unite! Don't let the sunshine spoil your rain...just stand up and complain!"
Maybe that explains my deep down, unstoppable, undeniable love for the blogger herself. You see, this note isn't about a grouchy guest blogger, but rather about his grouchy wife - and why her griping is appropriate and healthy. In fact, I think it's the key to her fundamental happiness.
I don't know why it's considered a core virtue to suppress pain. I am always puzzled when someone passes away, and the eulogy includes the inevitable praise for the deceased having suffered in silence: "...and even after Gertrude lost her eyesight, and could no longer read while she lay in her iron lung, she never once complained, and always greeted others with a smile."
I guess it's cultural, part of the American can-do ethic that broke the British during the winter at Valley Forge, then tamed the Wild West, and kicked some Nazi butt for good measure. If Laura Ingalls can survive the tough Minnesota winters in her little house on the prairie, then you need to suck it up, too. Cowboy up!
What a ridiculous attitude this is. No one likes the non-stop gripers - I get that. But I suspect that the real reason that people are so quick to offer up praise for those who "never complain" is that it spares them from feeling bad. In other words, if you are in agony, keep it to yourself...so that I don't have to suffer, too.
But what are friends for if not to comfort you during the rough times - even if those rough times last your whole life? (Then again, except for Katie, I don't really have any friends, so I'm not sure that I'm qualified to give advice in this respect.)
One final point: I don't think you need a doctorate in clinical psychology to recognize that it just can't be healthy for someone to suppress their challenges. Raisin in the sun, you know?
As the person closest to the situation, I can report honestly that our lovely Katie manages the contradiction well. She is just grouchy enough to stay happy.
So if you're reading this while in an iron lung, feel free to mention how much it sucks. Whomever you tell may feel a little worse, but you'll feel a lot better. And when you've been dealt such a rotten hand, that seems a fair tradeoff.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Shame on them!
One of the most frustrating things about having children with Autism is having to constantly fight for things they need. You have to fight with school districts - you better hope you know your rights because they aren't going to give you a piece of paper titled: "Things we have to provide for your child" - and you have to fight with insurance companies - most of the time I swear they are just trying to give you the run-around long enough that you just give up.
My most recent fight has been raging on for over a year now. My son uses a speech generating device (SGD) to talk for him since he can't. He can say a few words but even those are unclear to most people who aren't around him all the time. In general, he needs the device to communicate his basic needs and wants effectively. We were able to convince our school district to purchase one for him to use but they own it. This means if we ever leave the district the device doesn't go with us. We were advised by Will's speech therapist to obtain his own speech device through our insurance company since we are unsure of how long Will might require this assistance. And thus began the fight.
Appeal after appeal has been denied but the most recent refusal was the most hurtful. In this denial letter the insurance company actually states: "Devices such as this would not qualify as Durable Medical Equipment as they could be used by anyone in the family much like a blood pressure cuff." A blood pressure cuff? Are they kidding me? Have they even taken the time to research what exactly this device does? It is a relatively small device with a touchscreen with picture icons on it. You touch a picture and it speaks for you. Will's SGD would be of no use to anyone except him. I'm pretty sure I don't need to touch a picture of a toilet to have a machine say: "I need to use the bathroom." This letter was both ignorant and insulting. How dare they make light of the fact that my son needs a machine to speak for him. Shame on them!
My most recent fight has been raging on for over a year now. My son uses a speech generating device (SGD) to talk for him since he can't. He can say a few words but even those are unclear to most people who aren't around him all the time. In general, he needs the device to communicate his basic needs and wants effectively. We were able to convince our school district to purchase one for him to use but they own it. This means if we ever leave the district the device doesn't go with us. We were advised by Will's speech therapist to obtain his own speech device through our insurance company since we are unsure of how long Will might require this assistance. And thus began the fight.
Appeal after appeal has been denied but the most recent refusal was the most hurtful. In this denial letter the insurance company actually states: "Devices such as this would not qualify as Durable Medical Equipment as they could be used by anyone in the family much like a blood pressure cuff." A blood pressure cuff? Are they kidding me? Have they even taken the time to research what exactly this device does? It is a relatively small device with a touchscreen with picture icons on it. You touch a picture and it speaks for you. Will's SGD would be of no use to anyone except him. I'm pretty sure I don't need to touch a picture of a toilet to have a machine say: "I need to use the bathroom." This letter was both ignorant and insulting. How dare they make light of the fact that my son needs a machine to speak for him. Shame on them!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Solving the Puzzle
As I've mentioned before, my son attends the Cleveland Clinic Lerner School for Autism in Cleveland, OH. It is an amazing school with an outstanding reputation for helping children with Autism reach their potential. But how? I could talk about their curriculum which is highly individualized to truly meet each child's educational needs. Or I could talk about their state of the art facility which was designed specifically to address these children's sensory needs. But the real reason these children make such progress is because of the dedicated therapists that work with them daily.
My son goes to school year-round - which means his CBTs (classroom behavioral therapists) work year-round too. Lets be clear...their job is not a walk in the park; in fact, they probably deserve hazard pay. Many of these children, like my son, suffer from extreme behaviors brought on by frustration and anxiety. Behaviors like: screaming, biting, hitting, pulling hair, scratching, kicking...you get the idea. This alone would scare off many educators, but not these therapists. They understand these children. They understand that all behavior is communication and they are determined to give these children a more appropriate voice. The level of care that they show is genuine and their dedication is endless. They work tirelessly to implement one strategy after another until they find the one that works for their student, knowing that these children have tremendous potential if given the right tools.
In the Autism community we use puzzle pieces as symbols for Autism. The Autism Society of American explains that: "The puzzle pattern reflects the mystery and complexity of the autism spectrum. The different colors and shapes represent the diversity of the people and families living with the condition. The brightness of the ribbon signals hope—hope that through increased awareness of autism, and through early intervention and appropriate treatments, people with autism will lead fuller, more complete lives." As I watched my son walk into school today with his favorite therapist, Frank, I couldn't help but think that these are the people that are actually solving the puzzle - even if it is only one piece at a time.
My son goes to school year-round - which means his CBTs (classroom behavioral therapists) work year-round too. Lets be clear...their job is not a walk in the park; in fact, they probably deserve hazard pay. Many of these children, like my son, suffer from extreme behaviors brought on by frustration and anxiety. Behaviors like: screaming, biting, hitting, pulling hair, scratching, kicking...you get the idea. This alone would scare off many educators, but not these therapists. They understand these children. They understand that all behavior is communication and they are determined to give these children a more appropriate voice. The level of care that they show is genuine and their dedication is endless. They work tirelessly to implement one strategy after another until they find the one that works for their student, knowing that these children have tremendous potential if given the right tools.
In the Autism community we use puzzle pieces as symbols for Autism. The Autism Society of American explains that: "The puzzle pattern reflects the mystery and complexity of the autism spectrum. The different colors and shapes represent the diversity of the people and families living with the condition. The brightness of the ribbon signals hope—hope that through increased awareness of autism, and through early intervention and appropriate treatments, people with autism will lead fuller, more complete lives." As I watched my son walk into school today with his favorite therapist, Frank, I couldn't help but think that these are the people that are actually solving the puzzle - even if it is only one piece at a time.
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