Friday, November 5, 2010

I want to kiss you!

Last week I had to take Will to cheerleading practice with me and Jessica.  Bill had a late meeting on campus and was unable to do our usual "hand-off" at the gym.  Will was surprisingly good.  It was a little loud for him so he plugged his ears but he was obedient and followed my directions to sit nicely.  We had just finished our opening stretches and Will was on the mat with us.  A young girl on the squad - who is about 2 years older than Will and has always reminded me of him with her self-absorbed stares, difficulty following directions, and lack of social interaction - came over to us and smiled sweetly at my little man. "Is this your boy" she asked?  I'd been an assistant coach for over a year now and had never heard her say more than a few words so this interaction surprised me.  "Yes, his name is Will.  Say 'hi' Will." "Hi."  Again she smiled sweetly at him and it hit me...she thinks he's cute. 

Throughout the rest of practice she would periodically "show up" beside us with a smile but as practice was ending she came over and squatted down beside him and said: "I want to kiss you."  I smiled at her and said: "O.K. sweetie - that is very nice but no kissing at cheerleading practise, O.K?.  Say goodbye to Will and maybe you'll see him at another practice."

What a sweet story, right?  But it has stuck with me for over a week now.  We had practice again last night and I didn't take Will this time.  I found myself watching this girl and wondering, will she ever find someone that will love her despite her disabilities?  What about Will?  He is the kindest, most loving individual I have ever met in my entire life.  He has the purest heart with no hidden agendas or ulterior motives.   Will he ever find someone who will love him the way he deserves to be loved?  Someone who will help take care of him and look after him.  There is so much that we parents of special needs children have to worry about on a daily basis that I don't think we really focus too much thought on our children's future love-life, but after last week's practice it's been chewing away at my brain.  I think about all that I have been able to experience in my life: my first kiss, going to the prom, hearing "I love you," getting married, having children... and I wonder, Will my children experience those things.  I'm pretty sure Jessica will.  Holy Cow - you have to try to distract that child from her love of boys and she's only 5!  But will she be a target with her beautiful face and strong desire to be liked?  Will I be able to make her understand what is appropriate "interactions" between boys and girls and what isn't?  Will I be able to protect her?

But my fears for Will somehow seem scarier.  I guess because I have always been afraid to be alone and therefore, never have been.  The thought of him being alone someday seems unimaginable.  But he's not me.  Maybe he'll never have the desire for that type of a relationship in his life.  Or maybe he'll meet someone who will see him for who he really is - a beautiful person with a beautiful heart.   I might be a little biased but I think he's a good catch!

1 comment:

  1. Melissa Scholes YoungNovember 11, 2010 at 6:28 AM

    With a beautiful role model like you, Katie, I feel certain that Will will know love his whole life.

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