Peace and Quiet

Quite often at the end of the day, when you reflect back on everything that has happened, you realize - this was a good day. It's a great feeling. But every once in a while, if we are lucky, it doesn't take "reflection" to make us come to this realization; instead, we pause, look around us and know that we are experiencing a great day. Today was one of those days for me.

Even though Bill and I had just wrapped up a hectic week we decided to take the kids on a special outing. Every summer we visit Rolling Ridge Ranch, and take the children on a covered wagon ride through 80 acres of breathtaking land filled with animals from around the world. The ranch is located in the heart of Amish country and is actually owned and run by the Amish. During the 45 minute drive it took us to get there this morning, we slowly left behind the insanity of suburban USA and entered a world filled with rolling fields and horse-drawn buggies. By the time we reached the ranch I was already starting to feel more relaxed and opted to leave my cell phone in the car, unwilling to risk an interruption into this tranquil world I had entered.

With great anticipation we boarded the large horse-drawn covered wagon and began our ride. For the next hour we rode through beautiful countryside where we fed Zebras, Llamas, Ostriches, Camels, and the list goes on. It was truly rejuvenating. The air was fresh and quiet and my family seemed truly peaceful. The elderly Amish gentleman who was driving the wagon told me that this trail has a powerful impact on all of its travelers. Many a person starts the trip off "grumpy" and quickly becomes peaceful and content.

Maybe part of the reason is the simplicity of nature or maybe it has something to do with the Amish themselves and kindness that they exude. When we were almost finished with our tour the driver said to me affectionately with a nod towards Will: "I have a 36 year old disabled son." This kind little gesture started a brief conversation about our special children that left me with a surprising realization...my life may be nothing like this Amish man's, and we may have very different values and beliefs, but we have one very important thing in common - we are both parents that love our children unconditionally and completely.

Now, I don't want to overstate the impact this trip had on me - I'm not planning on converting my family to Amish - but it was definitely a much needed break from the chaotic life that we live day in and day out. It was nice to slow down and just enjoy nature's beauty with the people I love.

Thanks for nothing!

I stopped at Whole Foods this morning to grab a few Gluten & Casein Free items for my son, but all the handicapped spots were taken. Let me start by saying that I don't always use these spots because there are many individuals with more severe disabilities than me that might need them. Whether or not I take a handicapped spot all depends on the weather; how my leg feels on a given day; and whether I am shopping with my little ones (walking in the parking lot is unsafe because I can't catch the kids if they try to run away and they don't know to stop - parking as close to the door as possible is best).

Today was one of those not-so-rare days when my leg wasn't fitting so well & therefore was uncomfortable and less stable (I stumbled several times this morning before I even left the house). I wanted a handicapped spot to reduce the amount of walking I would have to do but there weren't any available. I went ahead and parked and did my shopping. On my way out of the store I saw a woman get into her car, which was in a handicapped spot. I was furious. I couldn't see anything wrong with this woman except that she was quite overweight. Get ready 'cause here comes my rant...

It is amazing to me how many people have handicapped plaques because they are overweight. I don't care if this is "politically incorrect," but obesity should not earn you a handicap spot. Except for extremely rare glandular conditions, obesity is self-inflicted and completely curable. Step one: park a few spots back in the lot and WALK. I'm not trying to be mean, but these spots should be reserved for people with real disabilities. When I first lost my leg and the doctor said he would write a prescription for a handicapped plaque for me, I was horrified. I said I wasn't going to be using it...I was proud and naive. I quickly realized that there were times when parking close to the door was necessary (plus, lets be honest...I should get some perk after lugging around this metal leg day after day).

But it doesn't stop there! What about elevators? The level of laziness in our society is ridiculous. Stairs are a big challenge for me, but impossible for someone in a wheelchair. During my six months of chemotherapy I was in a wheelchair, unable to have a prosthetic leg. For our anniversary Bill and I visited the Tower City Center in downtown Cleveland, so that I could get out of the house for the day. As we approached an elevator a family stepped in and Bill yelled: "hold the door." The family just stared at us as Bill quickly pushed me towards the elevator. As the doors began to close without any assistance from the elevator occupants - Bill hollered: "Thanks for nothing!" In that instant I felt so devalued. Here were able-bodied people who were given the opportunity to help me and they were just too lazy.

O.K. I'm done ranting...for tonight

Would you choose Autism?

With fall fast approaching I've already begun thinking about Christmas gifts. I know it sounds crazy but when you have as many people on your shopping list as I do you have to start early. I received an email advertisement from Cafe Press (I love this site) regarding free shipping on all custom t-shirts, so I thought I'd look for some Autism shirts for my son's teachers. If you do a generic search with "Autism" the results are staggering. There are countless t-shirts, hats, stickers, bags, etc...with Autism related slogans. What struck me time and again though were the shirts with messages saying we should embrace Autism and not try to cure it - like: "Autism: Something to be understood, not cured." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

Sadly, there is a growing number of people that believe that Autism is who a person is and therefore is not something we should try to change. For the many caregivers of individuals with Autism, I can only imagine that this is a coping technique that allows you to make it through the hard days. I can't believe that a rational person would look at someone they love who is suffering - and I choose that word intentionally because I have seen my two children suffer - who would look at someone they love who is suffering and decide that Autism is who they are and not something to eradicate? I can't, for the life of me, understand this way of thinking. And to those individuals with Autism who have voiced this same opinion of acceptance instead of intervention, I mean no disrespect, but the mere fact that you are able to voice this opinion puts you in a different category than my son who cries and becomes aggressive out of frustration because he is unable to voice his wants and needs. Who would choose that? Who would choose to be unable to communicate when they are in pain? Who would choose to be unable to care for themselves in adulthood? Who would choose to be a teenager who still needs to wear a diaper? Who would choose these things? NO ONE!

I'll tell you what I know about Autism: it is a destructive neurological disorder that left untreated, ruins lives. It is not something to embrace nor is it something to accept. Autism claims 1 in 150 children born today and it needs not only our attention, but more importantly our action.

That Sucks!

For such an advanced - intelligent - and adaptive species, our brains can really be stupid some times. I have the worst phantom pain tonight that I have had in probably 2 months. I keep getting these "jolts" that feel like someone is electrocuting my foot THAT ISN'T THERE!! Do you know how frustrating that is? I don't know why my brain has decided to go haywire tonight...could be because I'm overly tired (we had a good evening with the kids at the county fair); could be because I've been insanely stressed lately with the upcoming move; or it could be that someone from my past is sitting with a voodoo doll of me - thrusting a pin in the foot over and over again (whoever you are...thanks a lot). I don't know the reason the pain is so bad tonight, and I don't care. All I care about is that it HURTS like crazy and there is nothing I can do about it but wait it out. I'll admit that I am usually not one for pity parties but tonight I think I need a collective: "that sucks!"

Stranger slaps crying toddler

O.K. so we've all been in the grocery store before when there has been a child that just can't be consoled...tears and loud wails ring loudly throughout the store. Most of us Moms have also been the parent whose child is the one causing this chaos. It happens. Little ones get upset and sometimes nothing will calm them down until they are good and ready. It is frustrating as the parent of the cranky child and annoying as the fellow shopper but no big deal. A few dirty looks and possibly an under-the-breath rude comment about your parenting style is all you usually have to worry about, but a Mom in Georgia actually had a stranger slap her child? I'm not making this up - read the CNN article. The Mom was shopping with a crying toddler when a man came up to her and told her if she didn't make her kid stop crying he would. The Mom proceeded with her shopping, mistakenly thinking these were idle threats. The man approached her in another isle and grabbed her crying 2 year old and slapped her 4 times across the face, stating: "See, I told you I would shut her up!" JAW DROP!! I read this article and was stunned & curious. What did the mom do? Did she grab the toddler back and start crying herself? Did she go crazy on the man - giving him a good slap? Did she run in fear? What??? First of all, you just CAN'T hit someone else's child - period! Second of all, is this man crazy? Doesn't he know how protective and insane we Moms can become when we feel our children are in danger? Even the sweetest, mildest woman can become venomous while protecting her little one. So for me, the story was shocking, but I can tell you with complete certainty that if this story had been about me the title would have read: "Local Man is Hospitalized After Sustaining Serious Injuries at the Hands of Angry Mom."